Two posts in one day? Well, it's kind of linked to what I posted earlier about being thankful. I may be thankful and I may be happy with my life, but I am no means content to sit where I am.
I think we aren't truly content and happy with ourselves until we're comfortable that we've earned our happiness. There's still a part of me that feels a bit confused and incredulous at the luck of almost clumsily stumbling into my current relationship, which has made me happier than I've been in a long time. I feel like someone in an Indiana Jones movie who trips up a secret door, only to have it lead to the lost Aztec City of Gold (or something like that). I hope the metaphor isn't too muddled.
Anyhoo, my point is that it's important to feel like you're working towards being a good person, or at least as good as you can be in order to feel like you truly deserve your happiness. Otherwise, you might not trust it to last.
A few months back I explored the things I thought I needed to 'embiggen' myself, to be the best Nick B. I can be! Upon further examination of these qualities, I realized that these could well apply to a lot of folks out there.
So, consider this a moral PSA. I hope I don't come across as too preachy. Remember: these are mostly for my own consideration and these are qualities I sometimes fear I lack.
October 11 2010
Examination of the Qualities that Make One as Good a Person as Possible while Remaining Strong
- Take a practical approach to Taoist non-action
- Choose to wait for ideal timing rather than rushing
- Learn to want less instant gratification
- Don’t ingest to excess
- Learn to value sensation
- Choose not to overdo it with the good things in life (although occasional lapses are a necessary element of living well) – this includes drink, food, drugs, sex, affection, adrenaline and possessions
- Learn to truly put yourself in another person’s shoes
- Be charitable and give time to the needy and unfortunate, but don’t give money to panhandlers
- Listen to others’ complaints if appropriate
- Dedicate yourself to understanding while respecting privacy
- Learn to tell what’s needed of you in different situations and determine where advice is useful, and when all that’s needed is a hug and a nod of approval
- Learn how know when you need to interject, suggest a course of action, or criticize others – usually it’s NOT a helpful act
- Learn to accept the validity of others’ judgments
- Try to truly be there at the drop of a hat when your loved ones need you
- Learn that your values have little impact on how others resolve their issues
- When your input is needed or sought, always try and express in as loving and positive a way as possible
- Strike while the iron is hot: Don’t hesitate to explore an idea, opportunity or project as soon as you can; procrastination is the enemy of creativity
- Always envision ways to improve
- Try your best even when it hurts
- Look at any dream as being possible to make real
- Kick your own ass and get moving!
Learning/ Brain power
- Never be satisfied with your existing level of knowledge on ANY subject
- Try to know a little bit about everything
- Try to keep your mind busy with crosswords, puzzles, projects, blogs, etc.
- Develop and maintain an interest in all forms of art, especially the effect and value it has for others. This includes art forms that don’t personally interest you (e.g. textile arts)
- Take a chance and dabble with as many different art forms as possible: painting, music, sculpture, sewing, acting, poetry, drawing, cooking, gardening
- Learn more art theory
Courtesy and Manners
- Learn to let go of narcissism and the notion of being a ‘big man’ (but keep your spine!)
- Humility and a gentle nature may not appeal to the masses, but they are still more desirable
- Treat everyone with a base level of respect and try to make that base level as high as possible. Basic respect is freely given, but disrespect can be easily earned.
- Cultivate manners when valuable, don’t follow traditional manners only out of tradition.
- Be as personable and charming as you can.
- Cultivate an active, fitness-friendly lifestyle but do not make it obtrusive to others.
- Fitness is a personal choice in how to live, it isn’t a lifestyle to be advertised or imposed on others.
- Lack of fitness is not cause for lack of respect.