We all have them, those particular spots that certain words, people, events or combinations therein. And wow, once they get pushed, WATCH OUT! Craziness ensues. I'm talking Mel Gibson tape rant craziness... Ok maybe not THAT bad, but still. I've said things with my buttons pushed that I scarcely believe.
I have a couple of people who push mine like you wouldn't believe and vice versa. It begs the question as to why I bother being anywhere near them. I guess it's because 'buttons' usually are one side of a multi-faceted emotional entity that comprises lots of wonderful things too. Like passion, like learning from each other, like crazy-ass arguments that deep down are kind of fun... But in the end, I think the buttons win. Hence the astronomical divorce rate, hence restraining orders, hence toasters in the face.
Now, all that being said, what can we do about it? Anger management is a hard thing to... manage... Sometimes, when we've been pushed, we feel like anything we say and do is justified in order to get back at the button-pusher.
I guess the only thing I can offer as advice is this: learn to forgive as quickly and calmly as possible and try not let the 'pusher' get the satisfaction from seeing you lose it. Lord knows it's too late for me with a lot of people, but maybe I'll never repeat some of my worst offences.
July 16 2010
When I first felt the surge in my heart, the intense flush of unrestrainable anger come over me, I thought I was going to punch a wall (and maybe I did?). Then came the words. Hurtful, pointed, accurate (in my addled mind). And then the response: fierce, unrepentant. Some things can never be unsaid or undone. So, might as well take this madness as far as it can go.
Next I knew, both of us are in tears and shaking with rage. Every weakness thrown out there for the world to see over the Internet or pool table gossip.
And the horror of it breaks your spirit.
How do you forgive such hurt and malice? You just do.
How do you come back from a point of no return? You take a well-measured step back.
How do you stop it from happening again? You just do.